"By Straight Male Friend Marcus Osborne for Gal Believe what you hear, divorce is hard. Multiply that agony by ten if there are children involved. Related: Dating After Divorce-- Get Your Mojo Back The oddity is that often during a separation the parties agree to be open to seeing other people, even though the door is supposedly open for reconciliation. Do you tell people you're dating that you're just separated? Other than perhaps the death of a family member, the severing of what was expected to be a lifelong union is about as emotionally crippling as any life as experience an individual will ever survive. If one of us knows they want out, what’s the point of a separation in the first place?Same goes for someone who’s not over their divorce and has beliefs that affect their ability to be committed.I personally know people who have gotten together while one party was separated, and in one case the wife refused to sign so they had to wait for it to lapse and got married as soon as it did a few years later, and in the other instances where it worked out, there was no faffing about with the divorce, Future Faking etc.Even when the divorce is amicable, as mine was over a decade ago, the massive weight of the realization that the world you had built with your soon-to-be-ex and the end of your journey with a person who at some point was the closest person in the world to you is downright smothering. Are we supposed to see each other a certain number of times a week? Or do you tell them that the marriage is over, no chance of being mended and that the paperwork is simply a formality? I recall going through that period, knowing full well that the marriage was over and that, indeed, the paperwork was just the final punctuation.It's an awful, soul-crushing rollercoaster and every time someone sarcastically remarks how easy it is for people to get divorced or how so-and-so "just left their marriage," my head feels like it's about to explode. However when I would reveal to someone in whom I was potentially interested that I was separated, they invariably would shy away.
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I know guys use the "I'm separated" line all the time.
I know people who are just separated are iffy potential partners on most occasions.